Goner Board Posts of the Week

from Banned, in brian jonestown massacre, wtf???:

I like assholes, but I don't like bitches.

from Sambeaux, in DRIVING YOUR CAR OFF A BUILDING :

structural build may have been sub-par

Not likely. The panel she hit was a precast concrete panel, attached with no more than 6 fasteners. The building code requires that the panels be able to withstand a 6000 lbs load at 1'6" (roughly the height of the bumper) from the slab level. That's a static load (acceleration 32.2 ft/s2) so if her pickup weighed like 2 tons then it would easily exceed that as it decelerated from 30 mph over a distance of like 6" (the crumple distance of the bumper). Those panels are meant for cars rolling into them at speeds no more than 10mph.

Also (I work in the structural dept of the engineering firm that has been retained by the University to investigate their liability), one of the guys at work went out, surveyed the scene and found there is a lightpole directly in front of the panel. That, coupled with the fact that her truck was at angle diagonal to the edge of the slab, indicates that she must have hit the panel at an angle. She was more than likely trying to miss the lightpole, slam on the breaks and swerve (like she should) into the direction of the turn, unfortunately here, off of the edge of the building. Right now, they're trying to figure out how fast she must have been going using analysis of projectile motion (something we don't have to do too often at work).

I'm more concerened about her blood-radness level. Levels such as .8 or .9 indicate "Xtreme", while a level of 1.0 would be "pushing the envelope" but, if, as I suspect, her levels come back at 110% -then wow! Those kind of levels (technically described as "out the box") are rarely seen off of the sports fields and only in the case that a coach gives a stirring speech when the team is down by a sizeable margin at the end of the first half. Also, I would like a formal inquiry into the whereabouts of her black/asian/overweight sidekick (probably in a humorous food/marijuana/alcohol induced state of catatonia), who should have been in the passenger's seat.

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(this might be one of the greatest posts of all time.)